Trapped in overdrive.

The birth of my first children, the triplets, brought about rapid changes in my life. In some respects, I seemed well-suited for the demands of parenthood. I possessed the ability to push through fatigue and stress to accomplish tasks, a valuable skill when managing childcare, work responsibilities, and financial stability. However, I found myself perpetually trapped in overdrive, perceiving everything, including my own family, as burdensome.

Within me, a maelstrom of emotions and pent-up energy reached its breaking point, often manifesting as anger or judgment, particularly directed at those closest to me. I sought solace in irrational behaviour and extreme sports as outlets for this anxious energy, often at the expense of my well-being. Eventually, I distanced myself from the very things I held dear.

The root of the problems lay in the way I attached myself to my parents early in life and in the fact that no one had ever educated me about burnout or demonstrated the importance of self-care. Topics like therapy or support groups were never part of the conversation during my upbringing. My parents never acknowledged their own emotional struggles or provided guidance to my siblings and me. Instead, they concealed their issues, allowing them to fester without resolution.

I discovered support to slow down and embody.

By a stroke of luck, I stumbled upon relational somatic therapy. I encountered a therapist who guided me in slowing down and exploring the emotions within my body. Over time, I unwound my nervous system, enabling me to recognize my reaction patterns. This transformation not only made life more enjoyable and manageable but also allowed me to view my relationships from a broader perspective. I gained insight into how my actions had affected those around me and, over time, I was able to mend and nurture healthier, more fulfilling relationships.